The Simpsons Homertorium








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Phil Hartman

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Your mother seems really upset.  I better go have a talk with her - during the commercial.

I saw wierd stuff in that place last night.  Wierd, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff.  And I want in.

BartBuy me Bonestorm or go to hell!


HomerYoung man, in this house, we use a little word called "please".

BartBut it's the collest video game ever!

MargeI'm sorry, honey, but thosegames cost up to and including seventy dollars.  And they're violent and they distract you from your schoolwork.

BartThose are all good points, but the problem is they don't result in me getting the game.

HomerI know how you feel, Bart.  When I was your age, I wanted an electric football game more than anything in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life.  Well, goodnight.

HomerOh, Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hiting Springfield.

LisaYes, but the records only go back to 1978, when the Hall of Records was mysteriously blown away!

HomerAaah! OK, Don't panic.  Remember the advice your father gave yo on your wedding day.

Grampa Simpson(in a thought bubble, dressed in a tuxedo)

If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything, because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine."

HomerFine.  As long as I stand perfectly still and don't touch anything, I won't destroy the future.

(a mosquito flies by)

HomerStupid bug. You go squish now!

Maybe for once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, "You're making a scene."

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